Burglaries are no joke, but some of the criminals who commit them are so dimwitted they have us laughing out loud.

From a bad guy who had the urge to check his social media status on his victim’s computer to a quartet whose candy cravings led the law right to their door, we’ve scoured the Web to bring you the most foolish burglar stories on the planet.

Facebook Follies

A brainiac burglar from St. Paul, Minnesota broke into a house and looted credit cards, loads of cash, a watch, and a cell phone. Then he wondered what was happening on his Facebook feed so he logged into his account on the victim’s computer. Things got hairy when he forgot to log off.

As you might imagine, it wasn’t long before the socially savvy genius was arrested due to the fact he gave police all the information they could need to track him down.

In Need of a Brewskie

It’s no secret that alcohol can impair our decision making, but who knew a beer could get a burglar locked up?

This brainless bad guy not only had the gall to bust into a home, he did so with a beer in hand! Once inside he realized the homeowner was at home and beat feet in a jiffy. Trouble is, he left the beer can at the scene. When law officials scoured the victim’s home they realized the can didn’t belong to the victim. Thanks to DNA testing it didn’t take police long to catch up with the beer guzzling burglar. It turned out he lived just a few houses down the street. Thankfully, the victim wasn’t injured and no property was stolen.

Candy Conundrum

Late at night a concerned citizen reported unexplainable noises coming from a little league baseball snack bar. He alerted police who were on the way in moments, but the burglars were nowhere to be found. Fortunately, a trail of candy wrappers tipped off the observant cops.

They followed a trail of empty cookie, chip and snack packages for nearly two blocks to a home where more snack bar goodies were spotted inside of a car.

Then in the home where the car was parked, police discovered more property that belonged to the local little league team, including a including a cash register. One candy crazy man and three snack craving women were cuffed and placed under arrest for burglary.

Can’t Resist Childhood Antics

We have to give this bad guy burglar two thumbs up for embracing his childhood. Police were dispatched to a restaurant where a burglar was thought to be hiding inside. After searching for the suspect and coming up empty handed, a detective happened to notice the backdoor of the restaurant was open. He peeked inside and in an effort to shed humor on the situation he called “Marco.” Much to his surprise, the burglar responded, “Polo.” The game continued until the fun loving burglar was apprehended.

Step Away From the Donuts

You don’t need the body of Adonis to be a victorious burglar, but excessive pounds could slow you down or even thwart your escape from the scene. That’s just what happened to an oversized burglar in England.

The chubby criminal smashed a hole in the wall of a department store in an attempt to burglarize it. Underestimating his size, the burglar got stuck in the hole. As if that wasn’t humiliating enough, an earsplitting burglar alarm went off only a few feet from his head and rang in his ear until cops dislodged him.

If stupidity could be used as a defense, these knucklehead burglars might not be sitting in the slammer. To help fortify your home against a burglar, learn more about the benefits of a monitored home security system.

Written by Alexia Chianis

Wanderlust junky and mom of two, Alexia is a former police officer and U.S. Army Captain who draws on her experiences to write about a myriad of safety topics. Learn more

Share with your awesome friends.