What Age Should Kids Get a Phone?

Your kids probably stay home alone, walk to friends’ houses by themselves, or attend after-school activities around the ages of 12–13. A cell phone is perfect for emergencies and pick-up requests.

No, we’re not saying you should let the government tell you how you parent. But social media is one of the earliest birthday-contingent milestones your kid gets to look forward to, and they’re probably excited. If your child hasn’t delivered a persuasive speech yet about why they need to join Snapchat or Instagram, get ready.

According to the Pew Research Center, most parents (45%) think it’s acceptable for kids to have a phone between the ages of 12 and 14. About 28% of parents wait until ages 15 to 17, and 16% think it’s fine to let kids as young as 9 have their own phones. Other surveys show similar results.^2,3

This means you need a game plan for the inevitable, “But everyone has a phone!” argument coming your way. As tempting as it is to turn this into a lesson about individuality and not caving to peer pressure, think about it from your kid’s perspective. 

It’s not fun to be the one who is left out of plans formed via text or who doesn’t have the same socialization or media outlets as everyone else. 

To set your kid up for success, make sure they show a certain level of maturity and responsibility before letting them have a phone. Here are some signs your child isn't ready for a phone.

Phones aren’t cheap. If your kid is constantly losing or destroying things, their phone won’t last long. Consider having your child save up for an affordable flip phone and see how it goes. Let them know it’s a test run and that responsibility will earn them a chance to have a smartphone.

If they’re already struggling to step away from the TV or computer to take care of homework, hygiene, or household chores, adding a phone won’t help. Help them balance their screen time with parental controls or with a strict “one hour of homework first” policy. 

Giving them a device that lets anyone talk to them at any time is a recipe for disaster since the bullying is likely to get worse when there’s no one observing it. 

But at the same time, your child shouldn’t be punished for other kids’ rude behavior. You don’t necessarily need to delay getting them a phone, but do approach this purchase with caution.

For younger kids, start with a device—like a kids smartwatch—that gives you full control over their contact list. For kids age 13 and up, use a parental control app that lets you snoop on every message and/or sends you cyberbullying alerts.

You have three different options for your child’s first phone.

Finally, you can opt for a true smartphone. We recommend choosing an Android phone instead of an iPhone, since parental control apps have greater functionality on Android phones. Apple enacts strict privacy rules that hinder parental controls, but you can view a list of iOS parental controls in our setup guide.

Once you've got a phone picked out, the next step is to choose a parental control app. Learn what to look for in our guide to parental controls.

Communicate that you trust them to use it responsibly. They need to maintain your trust through responsible use.

Don’t wait for your child to have a problem before limiting their phone usage. Without guidance from you, they’re at significant risk of smartphone addiction.⁴ Side effects include poor sleep, poor academic performance, strained parent/child relationships, and increased anxiety/depression. 

Try these techniques for keeping a close watch on your child’s screen time:

• Require the phone to be charged overnight. Keep the charger in the kitchen (or anywhere but your child’s bedroom). Use a lockable charge box if your kid can’t resist temptation.
• Create “phone-free zones.” The dining-room table is an excellent example. 
• Designate “phone-free times.” This could be a strict time period (phones off and on the charger by 8 p.m.) or something along the lines of, “phones must be put away while walking.” Parental control apps help you enforce this with “quiet mode.”
• Have alternative activities at the ready for phone-free moments. Whether you break out board games, jigsaw puzzles, variety puzzle books, bocce ball, croquet, paints and canvas, grandma’s favorite cookie recipe, or the dog’s leash, it’s your job to set up non-screen activity structures for your kid.
• Lead by example. Kids are super observant and will definitely call you out on your double standard if they catch you mindlessly scrolling through Facebook at the dinner table. Follow your own rules and demonstrate healthy smartphone habits. 

This is a formal agreement between you and your kid that covers expectations, responsibilities, and consequences. Lay down all the ground rules about screen time, passwords, message content, internet usage, parental surveillance, and even monthly bill payment (e.g., do they pay overages?). Type it up, print it out, and sign it together.

• Internet Safety Guide for Kids
• 6 Ways You Can Help Your Kids Stay Safe at School
• 7 Simple Ways to Keep Kids Safe While Playing
• Jiobit Next Review
• Dangerous Apps for Kids

1. Brooke Auxier, Pew Research Center, “Parenting Kids in the Age of Screens,” July 2020. Accessed April 11, 2023.
2. SellCell, “Kids Cell Phone Use Survey 2019,” July 2019. Accessed April 11, 2023.
3. Panda Security, “When Should Kids Get Smartphones? (Survey),” June 2019. Accessed April 11, 2023.
4. Sei Yon Sohn, BioMed Central, “Prevalence of Problematic Smartphone Usage and Associated Mental Health Outcomes Amongst Children and Young People: A Systematic Review, Meta-Analysis and GRADE of the Evidence,” November 2019. Accessed April 11, 2023.