‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and We Asked ChatGPT for a Safer Poem

SafeWise experts have years of firsthand experience testing the products we recommend. Learn how we test and review

We all know the beloved holiday poem, "A Visit from St. Nicholas," but we've noticed many potential safety issues going on in the Christmas classic. There's the traditional breaking and entering (although Santa leaves you with more than you had before his visit), getting startled awake in the middle of the night, and climbing about on snowy rooftops. Plus, we could never forget about the whole chimney and fireplace situation.

In the spirit of the season, we wanted to give you a little holiday treat, so we decided to see if AI could add some safety callouts to the nostalgic verses. From our SafeWise family to yours, here's how ChatGPT thinks a safer "Night Before Christmas" would go.

Shot of a little boy hanging up Christmas stocking at home

Image: jeffbergen, iStock

'Twas a safer night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a hazard was lurking, not even a mouse.
Security cameras were mounted with care,
In hopes that no intruders soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of safety danced in their heads.
And mama with alarms, and I with a plan,
Had just settled in for a safety scan.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, I flew like a flash,
Activated the cameras, and checked the security stash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of midday to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

With a careful old driver, so cautious and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet! on Cupid! on Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top, the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I checked the security screens, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in safety gear, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of security cameras he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a safety inspector on a rooftop attack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney, he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a safe night!"

Related articles on SafeWise

Disclaimer: This article was assisted by automation technology. All content therein has been augmented, thoroughly edited, and fact-checked by our in-house editorial staff of human safety experts.

SafeWise Team
Written by
SafeWise Team
The SafeWise Team is here to help you keep your home and family safe. Whether you’re looking to pick a security system or identify and remove common risks in your home, we’re here to help you find the best products and well-researched answers. At SafeWise we combine our years of experience in home safety and security with user reviews and feedback to help take the guesswork out of living safe.

Recent Articles

woman adjusting thermostat in bright home
The Best Home Security Systems of 2024
After thousands of hours of tests and research, we picked Vivint and SimpliSafe as the...
senior couple hiking
Most Affordable Medical Alert Systems
Medical alert systems can save lives, but how much do they cost? We compared the...
medical alert products on an illustrated background
Best Medical Alert Systems
See which medical alert system is the best to keep you and your loved one...
Man and woman couple wife husband set up surveillance security camera
Best Apartment Security Systems
These renter-friendly apartment security systems help keep you safe and require less commitment than your...